Why neVER?

Why NeVER? I also don't know. Don't ask me. You are the one with the answer and yet i don't understand you. Maybe i was fooling with love too much that the angel of love gave me an arrow in the heart and my heart was not able to sustain the pain and cracks. Just a crack. Nothing more. The crack stopped right there and i am going make sure that this heart passes through the final cautiously with anymore pressure from the angel of love. I was too foolish to mess with love. I was immature. I needed a lesson and the angel gave me one and the only one that woke me up from my sweet sweet dream. I woke up wondering what had happened after all i had done without rational thinking. This is a huge mistake. I knew it from the start and i did not expect it to end this badly. It was not that bad though as my friends are there and i understand that it was my fault to be too reckless in doing all this. I realized my mistakes. Angel of love,give me no more lesson like this and i promise to be more serious in love and no more playful act. Now having final exam and i am still thinking about this. Better throw it off my mind for a while. Maybe this will change me in the future? Who knows. It's 5.01am now and i am still sitting here, eyes half-closed and sleepy. I need a sleep. Nite.

HUh?

Huh? That's what i get when i did something reckless on that day. It was the worse day ever. Tears feel like coming out of my eyes. My heart sank. There is nothing i can do about it. What you expect from doing these silly thing. Oh my God. Can't believe that i did it. LOL. It's the past. Still, i envy my friends who has settled down and i am happy for them. For me, guess the time is not here yet. Got to wait longer and no more doind those silly things. It was ... i don't know,i did not even think about the consequences at that time. I was stupid,playful and childish. It was not the best move and i would say that it is the worst thing i ever did as i never try doing it before this that my friend encourage to so i am still here writing stories for you.
It is 9.36 am now. My finals starts tomorrow. Wish me luck. Although the emotions are all stuck in my head, i tried my best getting them out and make them vanish. Played NFS just now and did not manage to overcome one of the stages. I think i tried it for more than 50 times. Almost 2 hours playing the same game on the same route. Dota? Nah. Finals. Got to study . Alone Mayb? Nope. My friends are all sleeping like pigs right now. The wind blows over my skin and i can feel the exhaustion beneath my body. It is going to be a hectic week that i am going to face my final test and hope that i can pull my pointer up a bit. Better than nothing. OMG. My back hurts and i think i am having inflammation in my stomach. The feeling is terrible but nothing is more terrible than what i experienced yesterday. Almost gone to a fight but sleep intercepted so i will just wait. No more explanation is needed and i will not further elaborate on what had happened yesterday. It is going to be a miracle if it did not happen this way.
No big deal. It is just all about feelings. Expression of feelings. Oh god.I am having stomach pain again. Did not know what is wrong with it and hope that i will get over this soon.
I feel so tired right now. I am going to sleep in a minute as someone is sleeping on my bad now. I am so sick of bitches and i hope that i will not come across another kind of same incident again. SLeep is calling me,got to go. Will update soon after my finals .

Dull

Life has been very dull for me these few days. Next week i have two tests waiting to kill me. DAMN. Studying now but studying alone is very boring and i get sleepy all the time. Food? Had enough though but now eating big apple donuts and i am really getting some weight here. Imagine you are alone in your room reading the lecture slides,listening to music and eating donuts. It totally sucks. Guess what? My mates are having at Ipoh now. They are hitting the club tonight and i am in my room studying. OMG. Fine. Still my life is dull and i do not deny that and i hope my life would be more fun. If my leg is healed by now, i would go play basketball or jogging or even cycling as i need to release my stress from my whole body. So what am i gonna do now? Study? LOL? I don't have much choice, do i? I wanna go back KL !!! Wallet is almost dry too due to excessive spending on food. I have been going mamak alot these two weeks and sleeping late too. No good. Better stop now and go back to my study before i fall asleep again.

It's had been a while

Wow, did not realize that i have not been updating my blog for almost six months. DAMN. Lazy may be the right excuse but now here i am updating my status and announcing latest news. Been really busy these few months. Don't know what to write now as it's raining. She is in the IRC. I am in my room. Did not know how i fall for her, did not know why i fall for her and did not know whether should i fall for her or not. It's has been a while since i knew her. Few months?. Maybe. People are telling me to act fast, and i mean fast but i was hesitating all the time. Should i? Confession has always been a norm in my life and it is not hard. The hard thing is that am i onto the right one? What if i made a mistake? Rejection? It's alright? NO? I also don't know.
Gonna work on my finals soon. Time is running off the clock and i really have to pay attention now as i do not want to disappoint my parents again. Gotta look forward. Not focusing at my past but in the future. Things have to change. Things got to change. Things are changing. So am i. Let's throw away all the tension and sadness and focus on study. Love is gonna come later so wait. Jogging? Spraint my leg. Have to wait for another 7 days. Sigh.
So missing my friends in KL so much. It's a new year now and i have not been contacting them and i feel really guilty. Never mind. Gonna back in KL on 2nd June. The sad thing is that they may not be in KL. I think they might go holiday with their parents and some of them are still studying overseas as you know the schedule of the oversEAS. LOL. Hungry . When am i going to have my lunch? DAMN. Just finished my field trip yesterday. Tired taking all the apparatus and standing under the sun from 2pm to 6pm. Exhausted. Crazy. Maniac. Lucky i get to drink one cup of Heineken at the last day. Ate the lunch provided but skipped the others and ate outside. No pork though and it is a small town. Boring. Slept in the hall instead of the room provided because you can imagine my suffering if you sleep in a room with another nine people with just one fan spinning so slow that you can almost catch one of its wings.
Sleeping time is getting off and off the clock. 4am? Nuts. Gonna try to sleep earlier tonight. Wonders what she is doing sleeping this late. Assignment? No way. Chatting? I guess so. Ignorable. Love is complicated so i will just solve this question later then. Alright. Stop now. Dinner first.

January...

Here is the starting of a new year and it's January! First thing first,results. DArn, the credits i get is lower than i expected. A bit disappointed though but i am sure i will work harder in this coming new semester. Nothing has been done this holiday, i don't know what to do during this two months so i just sat at home resting trying to get over my terrible cough for months and helping my mum with some stuff. After i get my results,i am scared and scared and still scared. SCARED. Scared that my mum will scold me like an angry lion and nagging me even i am sleeping. Afraid that she will some into my dream and scold me. There is one thing though that my friend told me just now. He told me that i have to tell my mum now or later she will cooked me up. So,i have decided to tell her later. Earlier scolding the better for me and for us. Ignore the results,now back to the new year celebration. Chinese new year is coming and i am sure that everyone is very anxious to get into it as early as possible. Maybe i will not be coming back for home this new year because our school had given us 2 months of holiday and you expect them to further more increase the period of holiday? DREAM ON!! . So,it's time to straighten your feelings and get yourself back into academics ... AGAIN. I just cannot wait to go back to school and run away from home as i have nothing to do at home except tv and computer and some housework. Wanted to work but feeling lazy. OOpps. Excuse. Just an excuse. xD. Don't worry. Next semester break i will be working somewhere for sure. Hope that i will have a good time at school and have better results in the next few months. Good luck to anyone out there in whatever that they are doing and hope that everything goes well for everyone this year.

Positive,aren't you?

Are you being positive right now? I am sure you are. Why? Because i believe you. You are not just any human on this Earth. You are You. You are special. So am i. Even the people who are homeless, they are special. They know how to survive without having a proper place to stay. They can linger here and there. Anywhere. They know how to earn money. They are special. So are you. So why are you feeling negative right now? Are you? Think about it. I am always on the negative side too. I am quite a bad-tempered person as you have not taste the other side of me. If you have ever see my angry expression, you will be afraid , you will fear me. But in the normal days, i am just an ordinary boy thinking positive and negative at the same time. Negative have been on my mind for a long time. I am sick of negative. I want to try, i want to know, i want to experience the positive. Positive may bring me more surprises that i can think of. Isn't that right? It is true that positive can bring you more prosperity and happiness. What can negative possibly give you? Anger? Worry? Suicide ? Everything on the corrupted side can bring you all these uneasy feelings. Don't try to be positive. Be positive. Trying something will only make you stand in between two different boundaries. You must do it. I will try my best means i will only do to the extend that i want. If i do my best, i will give out everything that i have and will not feel regret for doing it. Don't ever say that you will try. I know you will not dare to try because you want to sit in your comfort zone. That is just not right. Change. If you believe that you can do it, act from it and i will assure you that you will see the results that you want.

Money...

Money. Do you love money? If you don't love money,you are not human. They are people who loves money but they are also people who do not put money as their first choice. Is money that important in our life? Yes. Definitely. The only question is whether you think you have enough money in your account or not. Most people will think that they don't have enough money in their life and they wanted more. Why? Because money can buy almost everything in our life. Cars,houses,luxuries,anything that has a price tag on their body can be buy. Even the millionaires think that they don't have enough money in their life. Why? Because they want more from their life and they want to buy everything in the world. They don't care how much the thing cost, they only that if they want the thing, they must get it no matter how much it costs. These people are going after materials and they are quite realistic in their life. Ok. Now, we divert our topic to the youngsters. Nowadays,upper class families usually give their children one or two hundred every time the children want to go out. Can you see that these parents don't care much about what the children use the money for but they focus on the happiness that the children will get after having the money. For the middle class families, they will always monitor their children account, ask them to make a bank book by writing down all the things they bought, where the money goes. Is it so important to monitor their account down to every cent they use? I don't think so. As long as u know what they use the money for, i think it's alright to give the child some money to buy what they like. Money is always a very serious issue in our country as the government are having these people taking bribes and this is getting worst in our country as the oil is depleting and it's a matter time before the Petronas of our country is out of oil and what our country going to do without the main industry? It's still a question.