Holiday?

Exam just finished. Friends asked me out but i don't feel like going out. Need to reflect what i had done today. Oh god. Forget about it. It's holiday isn't it? Study without sleep and going into the hall taking the exam and after the exam,it is almost 16 hours . I need to hold on till tonight. Need to have a balanced lifestyle back. No more late night sleep. It's killing me. My eyes look like some panda eyes and i feel so tired. And my face. Destroyed despite the fact that i slept late for so many days. This is going from bad to worst. I need to go back and have treatment as soon as possible. This is not good at all. It sucks. I was shocked about my face although i know that i am not very handsome but this is gone far worst then i thought. Going out for dinner soon and i need to bath now. Continue later when i come back . Damn .

The LOAD.

OMG. Tomorrow i have another paper to go. Don't really feel like studying though. Slept 2 hours just now. Gonna start studying now after updating this blog. After this, i maybe more busy as the last 2 subjects are the subjects i plan to kill for long. No sleep and study all day is tired and i think that MCD is quite a good place study although there maybe people around and thee internet interfering. I studied well there though and i took some time to rest myself. Surf the internet for few minutes. Listen to House of MiXX. When i got back here, i don't have the feeling to study. Why? Is there something here disturbing the calmness of my soul? I don't know. I have been seeing the dawn for almost 2 weeks and this is not good. Everybody was sleeping when i was studying and everybody is studying when i was studying too. That 's a double and i don't care cause i know i can endure all this tiredness and past through this thing is a short while as i have to start to think about holiday and i thought maybe i can end this once and for all. I still have new semester coming soon though and i will not give up at this place this time this second. I don't wanna fail again and again. The feeling of not getting good results is like you are the lowest class in this so-called hierarchical university? I don't know and i don't care. I just wanna get myself out of here as fast as possible as i don't wanna face the book anymore. This is exhausting and tiring. Yet i know that this is not a problem for me and i just need to try harder. Six more days to go and i am a temporary free man. I want my life back and i want my friends back. Friends back in the past who i have lost contact with. This is so shit man. I almost lost all my KL friends and i knew that when i go back to KL, i will do not much of a thing at home except online, games and tvs. Nothing more than a kampung boy can do. I wanna change that. Being stuck at home during that period of time is suffering and i hope that i will make this holiday the beneficial one and i do not regret it again. But now, back to the books. Alright then, time is calling me.

Why neVER?

Why NeVER? I also don't know. Don't ask me. You are the one with the answer and yet i don't understand you. Maybe i was fooling with love too much that the angel of love gave me an arrow in the heart and my heart was not able to sustain the pain and cracks. Just a crack. Nothing more. The crack stopped right there and i am going make sure that this heart passes through the final cautiously with anymore pressure from the angel of love. I was too foolish to mess with love. I was immature. I needed a lesson and the angel gave me one and the only one that woke me up from my sweet sweet dream. I woke up wondering what had happened after all i had done without rational thinking. This is a huge mistake. I knew it from the start and i did not expect it to end this badly. It was not that bad though as my friends are there and i understand that it was my fault to be too reckless in doing all this. I realized my mistakes. Angel of love,give me no more lesson like this and i promise to be more serious in love and no more playful act. Now having final exam and i am still thinking about this. Better throw it off my mind for a while. Maybe this will change me in the future? Who knows. It's 5.01am now and i am still sitting here, eyes half-closed and sleepy. I need a sleep. Nite.

HUh?

Huh? That's what i get when i did something reckless on that day. It was the worse day ever. Tears feel like coming out of my eyes. My heart sank. There is nothing i can do about it. What you expect from doing these silly thing. Oh my God. Can't believe that i did it. LOL. It's the past. Still, i envy my friends who has settled down and i am happy for them. For me, guess the time is not here yet. Got to wait longer and no more doind those silly things. It was ... i don't know,i did not even think about the consequences at that time. I was stupid,playful and childish. It was not the best move and i would say that it is the worst thing i ever did as i never try doing it before this that my friend encourage to so i am still here writing stories for you.
It is 9.36 am now. My finals starts tomorrow. Wish me luck. Although the emotions are all stuck in my head, i tried my best getting them out and make them vanish. Played NFS just now and did not manage to overcome one of the stages. I think i tried it for more than 50 times. Almost 2 hours playing the same game on the same route. Dota? Nah. Finals. Got to study . Alone Mayb? Nope. My friends are all sleeping like pigs right now. The wind blows over my skin and i can feel the exhaustion beneath my body. It is going to be a hectic week that i am going to face my final test and hope that i can pull my pointer up a bit. Better than nothing. OMG. My back hurts and i think i am having inflammation in my stomach. The feeling is terrible but nothing is more terrible than what i experienced yesterday. Almost gone to a fight but sleep intercepted so i will just wait. No more explanation is needed and i will not further elaborate on what had happened yesterday. It is going to be a miracle if it did not happen this way.
No big deal. It is just all about feelings. Expression of feelings. Oh god.I am having stomach pain again. Did not know what is wrong with it and hope that i will get over this soon.
I feel so tired right now. I am going to sleep in a minute as someone is sleeping on my bad now. I am so sick of bitches and i hope that i will not come across another kind of same incident again. SLeep is calling me,got to go. Will update soon after my finals .

Dull

Life has been very dull for me these few days. Next week i have two tests waiting to kill me. DAMN. Studying now but studying alone is very boring and i get sleepy all the time. Food? Had enough though but now eating big apple donuts and i am really getting some weight here. Imagine you are alone in your room reading the lecture slides,listening to music and eating donuts. It totally sucks. Guess what? My mates are having at Ipoh now. They are hitting the club tonight and i am in my room studying. OMG. Fine. Still my life is dull and i do not deny that and i hope my life would be more fun. If my leg is healed by now, i would go play basketball or jogging or even cycling as i need to release my stress from my whole body. So what am i gonna do now? Study? LOL? I don't have much choice, do i? I wanna go back KL !!! Wallet is almost dry too due to excessive spending on food. I have been going mamak alot these two weeks and sleeping late too. No good. Better stop now and go back to my study before i fall asleep again.

It's had been a while

Wow, did not realize that i have not been updating my blog for almost six months. DAMN. Lazy may be the right excuse but now here i am updating my status and announcing latest news. Been really busy these few months. Don't know what to write now as it's raining. She is in the IRC. I am in my room. Did not know how i fall for her, did not know why i fall for her and did not know whether should i fall for her or not. It's has been a while since i knew her. Few months?. Maybe. People are telling me to act fast, and i mean fast but i was hesitating all the time. Should i? Confession has always been a norm in my life and it is not hard. The hard thing is that am i onto the right one? What if i made a mistake? Rejection? It's alright? NO? I also don't know.
Gonna work on my finals soon. Time is running off the clock and i really have to pay attention now as i do not want to disappoint my parents again. Gotta look forward. Not focusing at my past but in the future. Things have to change. Things got to change. Things are changing. So am i. Let's throw away all the tension and sadness and focus on study. Love is gonna come later so wait. Jogging? Spraint my leg. Have to wait for another 7 days. Sigh.
So missing my friends in KL so much. It's a new year now and i have not been contacting them and i feel really guilty. Never mind. Gonna back in KL on 2nd June. The sad thing is that they may not be in KL. I think they might go holiday with their parents and some of them are still studying overseas as you know the schedule of the oversEAS. LOL. Hungry . When am i going to have my lunch? DAMN. Just finished my field trip yesterday. Tired taking all the apparatus and standing under the sun from 2pm to 6pm. Exhausted. Crazy. Maniac. Lucky i get to drink one cup of Heineken at the last day. Ate the lunch provided but skipped the others and ate outside. No pork though and it is a small town. Boring. Slept in the hall instead of the room provided because you can imagine my suffering if you sleep in a room with another nine people with just one fan spinning so slow that you can almost catch one of its wings.
Sleeping time is getting off and off the clock. 4am? Nuts. Gonna try to sleep earlier tonight. Wonders what she is doing sleeping this late. Assignment? No way. Chatting? I guess so. Ignorable. Love is complicated so i will just solve this question later then. Alright. Stop now. Dinner first.

January...

Here is the starting of a new year and it's January! First thing first,results. DArn, the credits i get is lower than i expected. A bit disappointed though but i am sure i will work harder in this coming new semester. Nothing has been done this holiday, i don't know what to do during this two months so i just sat at home resting trying to get over my terrible cough for months and helping my mum with some stuff. After i get my results,i am scared and scared and still scared. SCARED. Scared that my mum will scold me like an angry lion and nagging me even i am sleeping. Afraid that she will some into my dream and scold me. There is one thing though that my friend told me just now. He told me that i have to tell my mum now or later she will cooked me up. So,i have decided to tell her later. Earlier scolding the better for me and for us. Ignore the results,now back to the new year celebration. Chinese new year is coming and i am sure that everyone is very anxious to get into it as early as possible. Maybe i will not be coming back for home this new year because our school had given us 2 months of holiday and you expect them to further more increase the period of holiday? DREAM ON!! . So,it's time to straighten your feelings and get yourself back into academics ... AGAIN. I just cannot wait to go back to school and run away from home as i have nothing to do at home except tv and computer and some housework. Wanted to work but feeling lazy. OOpps. Excuse. Just an excuse. xD. Don't worry. Next semester break i will be working somewhere for sure. Hope that i will have a good time at school and have better results in the next few months. Good luck to anyone out there in whatever that they are doing and hope that everything goes well for everyone this year.