ALways and Always

Things might have changed these few years. I looked back and realized that i have done terribly lot of mistakes that cannot be fix eventhough i can turn back the clock. It's hard to believe that i can reach this level with this kind of attitude. It's terrible of me to bring forward that attitude until now and it's still there. For this long time, i haven't manage to change my attitude of lazyness and lying to myself all the time about the truth that has long been there, never changed,never fade and never disappear. I did not do what must be done and this is very disappointing not ony for my family,my friends and all around me. I have many times remind myself of the things that have to be changed and yet i neglect it just after seconds i reminded myself. How can i make such a mistake? There is no turning back and i knew the ending long before it happens. Is it my choice that makes me what i am today? Perhaps. I am still asking myself whether i am in the right place,doing the right thing and the thing is i always think that i am right all the time. It's all assumption. It's just hypothesis. It's probably a guess. WILD guess. So what can i do about it? It is still not late to change. I know that . U know that. We all know that.

The question is : Can i change now? Will i change? Must i change? What if i choose not to change? What will happen? Where will i stand? My future? My dream? Noone knows. It's all up to oneself. That is me. Change. It's always easy to say than to do it. One thing. Believe. I have seen motivational videos,movies, listened to talks, seen the successful people,heard their stories and yet i am still the same old me. Unchanged. Unpolished. Immature. Ineffective. Unproductive. Why? Because i have no confident in myself. And being influenced by what people say about me. You are always like this. If you carry on with this attitude, i don't know how long can you stand. There are always a lot of doubts,questions that you want to get from yourself and yet you cannot answer yourself. Why? Because you are doubting yourself, your attitude, your personality,everything.

This is not the way you and me should live. Start to change. Think. Visualize. Imagine. Believing. Faith. Trust. Honesty. Forget about the old you. Start over again. U are a new person now. You are someone. Someone that can do so much things that other people cannot do. Believe in what you can achieve. Work for it. Go for it. Do something about it. Don't just believe and wait for the fruits to come. Everyone in this world work hard for what they have now, they don't just wish and sit there waiting. So,please go out there and work for what you want. Even now when i am writing this, i am still studying for my test tomorrow. Why i write it down? Because i may not remember this again in the future and this may be important for me and for you. I don't wanna lose it now. Never.

Although things may not seem to be going the right way , i am sure that things will go better soon. Trust. Don't be influenced by what people say about you. Mind about what you say about yourself. Most of the time, people tend to get influenced by what their friends say. So do you think that you can trust your friend more than yourself? If you think that that guy is efficient and have the leadership skills, vote for him. You don't change your mind because your friends say the other guy is better and more efficient. Look first. See for yourself. Then only make your decision. There are a lot mistakes that i have done and i knew i cannot turn back. But what can i do is i will always remind myself about the experience that i had and think three times before i make my decision. Once you have make the decision, there is no running away or hiding form it. It's your choice and you have to accept it no matter what the end results is. That is why i never regret about what i did(although i did regretted for some awful things i done in the past) now and i will always think,think and think.