Why Stress???

Why stress??? LOL. That is what i always say. Today i just have our maths test and one of my friends did a small little mistake that make the whole answer wrong. He was so tension. SO TENSION. I was sitting beside him when the test is going and guess what, i don't even know what the question is talking and he was like writing so fast and i am quite sure that he will get it right as he is the smartest in my class. What happened is he got it wrong in the beginning and he was very upset about it and keeps on blaming himself. I try to calm him down but he said,"Don't disturb me!!". I was smiling and trying to make him to smile too and he scolded me. WTF. After that, he keep on talking about the mistake he made and he is quite emotional too. On the other side, another guy was sitting beside me and telling me that he know how to do and do it perfectly correct. Imagine you don't even understand the question and the guy was showing you his big smile and i feel like giving him a big slap on his balls to tell him that :: Hey!!! Stop showing off in front me or i will hit you with my fist. Then after 5 minutes only the guy beside realized that he had done something wrong. WAKAKA.

AFter that, we went on to the drawing test. It was kinda hard as we are drawing using a computer and it may look easy to you but when you try it, you will know its toughness and difficulty. So, the teacher gave us the question and when we are 15 minutes into the test, all computer shut down. WTF. All the students are shouting and scolding. I was relieved. You know why? Because i don't know how to draw and was asking my friends about it. It was not that hard after all. After the computer restart, we start all over again. All my friends were busy drawing and they draw very fast. Guess what, I was stuck at drawing the model and it did wasted alot of my time. DAMN. They are all drawing other stuff already and i was stuck there for half an hour. After finish drawing the model, our teacher say we are left with less than half an hour. OMG. I was like clicking the mouse here and there faster than the speed of a running rabbit. LOL. I did not finish the drawing. Too bad. Gonna fail again. LOL. The 'showing off' guy finish his drawing and ask me whether i finish o not and i told him,"Nah,don't know how to do." He is still smiling at the moment and say,"Don't pretend man,let me see your drawing." So, i showed it to him and he said it is good. When he said the word "GOOD", i feel like pushing him down to the floor and punch him. I looked at his and WTF, he finished it and ask me just to laugh at me and say i was pretending? I ain't pretending you sucker and i will remember the moment when you laugh and say my drawing is "GOOD". DAMN. It's like someone is laughing at you indirectly. Pretending? FUCK you. When he finished the things fast and he get it correctly, he will always put both of his hands up in the air and smile. Beside him is me still trying to figure out the question. Although i don't really like his attitude,somehow he is still my friend so what to do, tolerate lo...

ALways and Always

Things might have changed these few years. I looked back and realized that i have done terribly lot of mistakes that cannot be fix eventhough i can turn back the clock. It's hard to believe that i can reach this level with this kind of attitude. It's terrible of me to bring forward that attitude until now and it's still there. For this long time, i haven't manage to change my attitude of lazyness and lying to myself all the time about the truth that has long been there, never changed,never fade and never disappear. I did not do what must be done and this is very disappointing not ony for my family,my friends and all around me. I have many times remind myself of the things that have to be changed and yet i neglect it just after seconds i reminded myself. How can i make such a mistake? There is no turning back and i knew the ending long before it happens. Is it my choice that makes me what i am today? Perhaps. I am still asking myself whether i am in the right place,doing the right thing and the thing is i always think that i am right all the time. It's all assumption. It's just hypothesis. It's probably a guess. WILD guess. So what can i do about it? It is still not late to change. I know that . U know that. We all know that.

The question is : Can i change now? Will i change? Must i change? What if i choose not to change? What will happen? Where will i stand? My future? My dream? Noone knows. It's all up to oneself. That is me. Change. It's always easy to say than to do it. One thing. Believe. I have seen motivational videos,movies, listened to talks, seen the successful people,heard their stories and yet i am still the same old me. Unchanged. Unpolished. Immature. Ineffective. Unproductive. Why? Because i have no confident in myself. And being influenced by what people say about me. You are always like this. If you carry on with this attitude, i don't know how long can you stand. There are always a lot of doubts,questions that you want to get from yourself and yet you cannot answer yourself. Why? Because you are doubting yourself, your attitude, your personality,everything.

This is not the way you and me should live. Start to change. Think. Visualize. Imagine. Believing. Faith. Trust. Honesty. Forget about the old you. Start over again. U are a new person now. You are someone. Someone that can do so much things that other people cannot do. Believe in what you can achieve. Work for it. Go for it. Do something about it. Don't just believe and wait for the fruits to come. Everyone in this world work hard for what they have now, they don't just wish and sit there waiting. So,please go out there and work for what you want. Even now when i am writing this, i am still studying for my test tomorrow. Why i write it down? Because i may not remember this again in the future and this may be important for me and for you. I don't wanna lose it now. Never.

Although things may not seem to be going the right way , i am sure that things will go better soon. Trust. Don't be influenced by what people say about you. Mind about what you say about yourself. Most of the time, people tend to get influenced by what their friends say. So do you think that you can trust your friend more than yourself? If you think that that guy is efficient and have the leadership skills, vote for him. You don't change your mind because your friends say the other guy is better and more efficient. Look first. See for yourself. Then only make your decision. There are a lot mistakes that i have done and i knew i cannot turn back. But what can i do is i will always remind myself about the experience that i had and think three times before i make my decision. Once you have make the decision, there is no running away or hiding form it. It's your choice and you have to accept it no matter what the end results is. That is why i never regret about what i did(although i did regretted for some awful things i done in the past) now and i will always think,think and think.